elgac's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The piles are high right now Oh fuck diary my life is crazy bad and crazy good concurrently. Lets see well the canoe trip was fabulous; I was canoe captain of the beer canoe. Which made me feel important and well drunk as the day wore on. The Blackwater River, who's water isn't back just teak stained was lovely. We would glide along the river see a beach we liked the look of and we'd pull out and commence to party. It was three girls and three boys; all single and I'd say pretty horney. Only one couple had sex later in the weekend, luck cuties Sean man posse member and Eva the hottie Austrian. Yes I had a crush on him but I want the man to be happy. Besides I've got my options. On the way to the river I bought a cowgirl hat with a wire rim and it is tea stained to make it look old, how cool is that? And it made me even cuter, how that was possible I don't know. For the girls myself included I bought snow globe like eyeball rings with glitter in the globe portion so it swirled around the enclosed eyeball. Plus they�re swishy. Yeah you have to love Florida and its crap. My question is what does the Chinese think of us as they assemble this shit for export? Stupid Americans. The next day we went to the beach. On the way we went to Fuckmart where I bought a kiddies ring in the shape of a seal. Who I named Ingrid; she is a pleasing transparent blue vinyl and has a painted white belly. We had a great time swimming. I swam for three hours or so. Only to stop and rest eat some boiled peanuts & playing in the sand. Ah much fun was had and I did a great job at not fixating on possibly having cancer. Friday before I left I went to hospital for the biopsy of my thyroid. Yeah I was stabbed in the neck five times, three for the samples of my growth and two to numb the spot. I went alone and I was fine until I was walking to say good-bye to Maria. She moved to NYC and then she's off to California for school. I cried so much on the walk there, the gasping choking kind of crying. There is a pile of crap all around me. My cat is ill and I shall find out about that tomorrow, my (2) closest friends don't live in Atlanta any longer, my college/workplace is dying today, I don't have a job, & I'm waiting to find out if I have cancer. Yeah it�s piling up. That and I think Justin isn't a good fit in the long run and that I'm using him for is body and our sexual connection. Yeah texted that to him last night while trying to numb myself on jack and cokes before I went to see Water the movie. It's made by the same woman who did Fire. Very beautiful but sad so sad not a good thing to see really. Or maybe it was, I came home and cried so hard I wailed. My heart hurts. 9:47 a.m. - 2006-05-31 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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