elgac's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ah my throat feels like its got a goat Well what has happened? I went out of town to J-ville. Which was fun aside from my throat almost closing up entirely. I caught tonsillitis and it became a chore to swallow my own spit. Sunday morning I was crying from the pain and showed my parents my throat using a flashlight. My father cried out, "Janet we've got to do something, she's grossing me out." Lucky for me my mother is a nurse and the office she works in is right up the street. So a painful throat culture later, I don't have strep, which is good to know. She made a couple of phone calls, and I got me some drugs. I took my last dose today but the swelling has yet to go down all the way. At least my double chin has gone down. The whole wall made of floor to ceiling mirrors in my parents living room was depressing to look at. To be sick is one thing but to see how badly you look while ill is a situation one should not be thrust into often or ever. The visit was one that led to the feeling I had never left Jax. I resumed my position in the power hierarchy of the family, thus I treated everyone with the same level of love and indignation that I spewed forth when I was eighteen. There really is nothing like the fights you have with family. We have a few of the same ones that occur every other day or so. No wonder I want to live alone. The level of communication and coordination required to sustain viable friendliness just doesn't have the draw anymore. I say pay more to feel less! This isn't to say I don't get along with my family far from it my parental units are like best friends to me just that we don't talk about our sex lives to each other. You know safe boundaries are good for everyone. Oh and the carrot(job) that was dangled in front of me last week was taken as quickly as it was offered. Alas I am not surprised but still a bit sad about it. I do believe I need to flee the south and this is just a sign. My options are open currently so here I am universe send me something positive that doesn't hurt others or myself for that matter (i.e. a car), please. I will declare it feels mighty fine to have shirked of the shroud of credit card debt. I feel open and freer now that I'm not pissing away a huge part of me income to those blood sucking loan sharks. No now I shall piss away my money the old fashion way, through my drinking. Not seriously ok maybe a tad. I haven't smoked a cig in four days; I have designs to stop now while I'm clean. The love of tobacco is strong I just have to keep it under control. I do know that I can never say,� This is last cig I'll ever smoke." For that is trite trash being blown up the metaphorical skirt of Bullshit. 11:24 a.m. - 2006-04-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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