elgac's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We shall see... I got into some trouble yesterday oh my I must say. But I just want to focus on what the graphic designer said. I was so drunk and out of it, I can barely recall that he said. But one of the times he was in my bed and I was ravaging him I asked, "What do you want?".Yesterday is when he decides to answer my long standing question. And he tried to tell me something of the sorts but as I try to recall it I don't remember a definative statement. So now after I have sobered up, I want to know what was said. I left my phone at home but I plan to call him at lunch. I want to plan a chat perhaps tonight. This is something that should be cleared up before the school year starts. Now what do I want from this? I want to have a fun fling in which I enjoy a bit of sex and compainionship. On no other terms do I want a boyfriend or a closed relationship. I am afraid to feel that way for anyone since the Rosa blow out. He is a really great person, and I know he wouldn't mind if we slept together again, nor would I. But if I could just remember what he said. Oh posh. I did ask if I make him nervous. His reply, "Yes, you do." Oh yeah good to know I still have it. I have therapy today which is good. Part of me doesn't want to make any plans until I speak with her. But the other horney side wants to take complete advantage of this man. I know how proud I have been with not having sex. I believe that is has made me far more attractive. Oh man I just wrote that. Hormones, they really do cloud your judgement. Ideally this is what I want to happend tonight. I go to my session and after that I have the boy over. We talk and if things are moving in that direction we get it on.(at least I can hear what he "wants") Then my craving is sated and there is an understanding. I don't know....I should just run away. But I just adore a good dance of sexual tention all the built up and the working of the mind and body to recieve what you want. GRRRRR I should be a good girl maybe I will be. But most of all I want to know what he said. We shall see.... 11:35 a.m. - 2005-08-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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