elgac's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- rain cloud above my head I have more pressing matters to attend to but here I am writing down my sad trite lies. Ah the sadness has returned and I want it to leave. But the drinking and smoking cigs hasn't kept it at bay. Exerecising does for a little while but the the buzz wears off. ERR I will beat this I am a strong mother fucker I got rid of Rosa for fuck sake if I can do that,what can I not do? The loneliness is around all corners. And if I let it will take hold again. Now its hovering above my head like the perverbial rain cloud. Drip Drip Drip, be sad be sad feel sorry for what you don't have.... My best friend in Germany warned me not to have to much meanless sex. In her words, "Don't be like Shane from the L word." Yes she's right meanless sex takes more that it gives. I want so much and yet I have so much, must find balance. All this isn't helped by the fact that I am one of those people that puts out the vibes of how they feel. Which makes me very popular when I'm happy and quite scary when I am leaning towards a negative emotion. I am supposed to have dinner with Tina tonight. She's a friend but we have a nice sexual tention that we both toy with. It will never happend. As is shouldn't but we both are silly and loud. Dare I say I'm look forward to it? 11:39 a.m. - 2005-06-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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