elgac's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - Well Wes the guy I'm seeing was sweet yesterday and took me out for a quick bite to eat. His game is so well laid out just when I was getting a bit pissed at not getting a call or a vist in the store he shows up. I like him and his inexcessablity it is a draw I must admit. Challenges are something I enjoy and he most definitely is a challenge. Yesterday at counseling I broke down about Rosa and cried so much I had a headache. I found out why the pain of the end and present is so heavy, I want her to except that we had a great passion. I want her to let go of the pain and anger. I want her to believe me when I say that I loved her and I have love for her. She changed my life for the better in so many ways. With out her involvement in my life I would not be me. I like who I am becoming, and yes for the bad and the good she is apart of that. No matter how angry she gets or how much hate she has for me, I will remember the good. With that being said I am afraid of her and what she could do if she lost it totally. I can see her killing me in a fit of rage, and that scares me. It is so complicated when you loved/love someone that has carried and experinced so much pain that it shadows all that they are. I can't fix her or any one else that has this issue. And I can not ever allow any one to bring me into their cycle of hate and pain. I want to help and free people but I must remember that I can not save people from themselves. Only they can release the baggage they carry. I have my own thank you very much. 11:15 a.m. - 2005-04-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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