elgac's Diaryland Diary

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Boring complainer

I have so much to be happy about. But lately I can't get past my last ex-lover. She is driving me crazy by proximity. I look around where ever I walk just to see if the coast is clear. And more importantly I bring her up in almost every conversation I have. I am or have become a whining loser who can't stop talking about themselves. People mostly really don't care about the day by day shit of my langishing mind and heart. They just want to dramatic declarations and see drama with their own two eyes. I was talking to an old friend last night and complaining about what I can't seem to stop complaining about, I asked if he thought I would ever stop? He said, "Yes but it will just have to take time and I love you so just keep on going." See I have good people in my life. I really typed that for myself.
Also I have been talking to my long time ex lover now friend becoming a best friend again. It has been a very enjoyable remeeting. But I can't help but feel as though I might let her down or do something wrong. I follow my whims more than I should but it is in my nature.

8:49 a.m. - 2005-02-22

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