elgac's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wah wah when will I grow up? These last couple of months I have been trying to grow comfortable with my life. Over all it�s going well. Especially considering the shitty summer I endured, with my job/college being sold to a soul less �southern art college from Savannah�, Bella my lovely cat being devoured by cancer, and my own almost cancer bout. After a couple of months solid drinking, smoking various substances and lurid sex with a few people, I came out of the fog. I have acquired a sweet, balanced, sexy, funny, pretty girlfriend. I met and adopted Zelda my little puggle dog of love. Yeah and I found yet another job selling stuff in an art supply store. During this current employment I have learned how to sell and talk people into buying $1,000 plus ergonomic office chairs. The flipside to this present life I lead, I�m not happy with it. Granted I feel better but emotionally I�m still unfilled. Mary my lady is great; I don�t have a complaint about her. It�s the way I don�t feel about her, I don�t get the butterflies and I only start to miss her after about a week and a half. Before when I was really into a person I thought of them constantly, to the point of obsession. Now I expected I�d be a tad healthier after my sick run in with Rosa my last love, I told myself it would take longer for me to release my heart. I feel like an iceberg floating and bumping into stuff but not really meeting up with much. With this in mind I have come to the decision I want to get my masters in library science, finally. The quickest way to go about this goal is to move back to Jacksonville, Florida. Move back in with my rents after a seven year hiatus, where I would have a studio off the garage as long as my loser succubus brother leaves. I want to cook lovely meals for my parents and keep their home clean. I want to gather all of my mother�s clothes and destroy them, she has great legs and I will get her to show them damn it. And most of all I want to get a career, making money for other people is boring. I�m twenty five and my parents are in their early fifties, we can have tons of fun. Oh and I miss the river with the occasional dolphin pod swimming through down town following the shrimp run, and swimming out to the deep blue where the waves break and I might get eaten. I will get my degree on-line, so that I can live at home with my dog at my side and bread baking while I�m sitting on the back deck in the sun. I haven�t told Mary of my new plan; I�m waiting until after tonight/tomorrow, since I don�t want to ruin the holidays. How do you tell a person, �You�re great, I really like you but well I�m blowing out of here in about six months?� That and I have wanted to sleep with the crazy guy Justin. Over all I don�t think I will but this isn�t the sign of a healthy relationship at least on my end. Ah it�s really not all that bad. 2:50 p.m. - 2006-12-31 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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