elgac's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Should I say or should I go now? I didn't get much done after I went home from work yesterday. It didn't help that I hadn't slept in my bed in two days. The messed up shoulder from this summer's car accident is acting up. I was tired within thirty minutes I was asleep. Woke up off and on, walking down stairs to progress farther on the longest clothes washing ever. My children/kitties loved on me and slept on me. Finally around 9pm Maria woke me up with a phone call. She wanted to know what happen yesterday, I was M.I.A. about the L-word. It all comes down to my avoiding Mary. I like her but no longer really want to have sex with her. How does one stop doing it and keep a friendship? So far I haven't been so good at this. Also drinking, smoking and all around shooting the shit with the man posse filled my Sunday up well. I don't like to beholden to any one or activity for to long, ever since the whole missionary thing. No person, T.V. show, drinking special, or what ever will keep me in a rhythm for too long. I slept in Andrew's bed for the two days I was out at the Posse home. I wonder if I should have slept in Sean's bed the second night. I got the feeling that he was disappointed I slept in Andrew's room the first night. At first I thought it was my ego but no I really should listen to my feelings on this one. He was with drawn the rest of the day. I pushed it out of my mind and didn't ask him about it. I spoke of it to Andrew but of course he hadn't noticed. Talking to Maria last night reminded me of it. She asked if I got laid. Which is a good question considering how inappropriate I am? She pointed out that Sean and I have a "thing". I adore the man and he would be a great boyfriend. One I fear this is all just projection. Two the posse is important could we date and not kill it? Three can I keep it in my pants? Four he wants to sail around the world, I want to move to B.C. At least it has a port eh? Five I've heard reports from his last girlfriend that he has a low sex drive, I soooo do not. Six what happens when we break up? I want to confront him about his feelings but he most likely won't tell me the truth. I dated a Piscean man before, Brian, four and a half years, I know how they are. I like it but it bugs me. They make great partners, but don't share their feelings so well. And with this supposed confrontation what do I want? Ah and for spring break we're all going to NYC. I could just wait and push him into an alley... 8:17 a.m. - 2006-02-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||