elgac's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A state of constant lust To begin where I started yesterday. Every Friday there is a party at Shawn's house. One of my interests resides there. The designer. It was a fun party I went with Page. So I came to this party to have fun ,to watch and make this boy uncomfortable. I really should just stop. But its so fun. We had a moment, we listened to this Jeff Buckley song that was about 7 mins long. It was nice, and solemn but all in a good way. God I song like a girl with a fuckin crush. I suppose I am. People would look in as they were waiting for the bathroom, and they would quickly look away. Regardless of the "magic" I felt he was drunk as always. He's a sweet drunk but non-the-less, what is real when your drunk? I had a nice time. Saturday I worked hard at the gallery. Last week she made me the Assistant Director. It is a lot to rap my head around, I have four people that I have to stay involved with. I hope it all comes together well. After I walked the ten blocks home I was tired and had resigned myself to a night of laying around. Mary called and asked what I was up to, nothing of course. So I asked myself hang out with new lady, totally! She is so sweet,intelligent, and adorable. I have many fears but I am trying to just enjoy the ride. I do ever enjoy her beautiful full hips. Something very pleasant could grow, only if I let it, and well she's not crazy. Oh fear and it's ugly head is rearing. Maria (one of my closest friends) is right in that I need to take Mary out some where. I don't need to keep bringing people home to bed them right away. Make a sort of effort to get to be friends first. Maybe. Sunday I had a blast. The first pool party was fun. Lots of ladies and cute boys to boot. I was in heaven. Spoke with an old aquaintance, he is very fine. I had heard the he was left by his fiance. We talked a little about that. I felt that he thought there was something, I felt a tug. But he is from my hometown,thirty ,and waiting tables. But he is fine, a talented painter, sculptor, musician ah no good for me. I almost gave him my card. Instead I left the party with out even saying good bye. Oh so cute, I fought myself and won. Yeah one for me one not for me. I am in such a state of lust. Marscha asked me Saturday if I was in love. I was dressed cute with lots of color mostly MAC eyeshadow. My eyes are nice then I add color and mascera oh so cute they become. Maria is right I better be careful but I am absolutely enjoying my freedom. All of my moments, mine mine mine. 3:53 p.m. - 2005-08-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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