elgac's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- He She said bullshit I want to meet the cute bartender, I want to take her out for tea/coffee, or a drink. -One- time I saw this woman and I can't get her out of my head. I tried to catch her Saturday, but she left early, I missed her by 30 mins. Life is so much about timing. Timing seems to be the key for things to come together. That makes me think about Wes. Timing, what was it that made the call back to me so hard to follow through with? I don't expect devotion just a tiny bit of consideration. Part of me says a woman would not do this to me. Well most likely she wouldn't. Then I think damn I am a selfish sexist. They say I'll tell you when I don't want to be involved any longer. As I have been told many men say theses things. Women, men I just want basic ownership of consideration. This rambling is a resort a part of myself is taking to over rule the part that wants to call him and leave yet another message. Regardless of what happend unless there was a death, he totally is a selfish indiviual that doesn't care about me and my time. But yet part of me would still let the dumb boy into my bed. Ah I hate that I know this. The last time we slept together it was so hot and total on. That is what I lament the most. I have moved on and when fall term starts back we shall see. If I am still here. Maybe I'll be invisible to him. Walk right past him, no more hugs and great big huffs of his fabulous man smell. We hugged from the very begining of meeting. He is just that kind of guy. Ah he is as coniving as a woman and that is one of his most attractive qualities. It isn't often you meet a man that is a eclectic as him. What ever happends will and I can only stear myself. So shut the hell up and get on with life. He lives two hours away, hates the city, does not have an ounce of spirtualism he believes in oblivion, he is Wes and I enjoy all it. I never wanted to own it. Just talk and have sex once and awhile is that to much to ask? 5:34 p.m. - 2005-06-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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