elgac's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Am I a strong person? I feel like a cardboard cut out of something interesting. You look up and see me, "oh what who is that?" then as you walk closer all the depth is gone and you see surface. I am just a flat shiny printed surface. What harsh words to post but hey clarity can be painful. I need more mystery of me. The openness of my personality is holding me back. It was cute when I was younger but now being twenty four it seems trite. The laughs are still coming but not at what I say but at me. I want to have the knowledge to back up myself. I am thursting for depth. It does help that my current lover is really into poetry. I was reading a complete book of Willam Blakes writings last night. The glimers of growth are coming but I want more, my hunger is growing with passing everyday. Just as my outside responsablities are bergoning as well. I am constantly being told I am a strong person. So why do I feel like I am a day away from checking myself into a hospital? The locking myself away for three days plan must be instituted. During this time I can run myself through a gamut of intellectual twists, I hope they take. 11:59 a.m. - 2005-05-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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